Swimming in the Dark, book review

 

In the summer of 1980, Poland, an anxious and disillusioned Ludwik meets Janusz at agricultural camp. The summer comes to mark an intense romance between the two men with days spent reading and swimming. But with summer coming to an end both men are forced to return back to the harsh realities of the capital and life under the Party. Both men must make choices on how they will survive, choices that risk tearing them apart. 

★★★★

On paper this feels like a story we have heard before. Boy meets boy, they fall in love and it ends tragically. This is that, but somehow it feels like it isn't. The political conflict raging on the streets in Poland takes the backdrop, violent and scary, weaved in with the intense intimacy between Ludwik and Janusz. It makes up an interesting and convincing concoction of violence and tenderness, one you know cannot end well.

This novel really gripped me, so much that I read it in 3 days, so good it's hard to put down. It's also fairly short and I appreciate books that manages to be about a lot of things while still being less than 300 pages. It's an impressive feat.  The book really transports you back in time, with each page demanding you feel it, feel what Ludwik feels, feel it all so you can understand it all. I really did feel like I myself was in Poland, at the agricultural camp, the sweat clinging to my body, the heat suffocating. The part of the story that is set during summer feels so heightened and vibrant. But then there is also the underlying theme of Ludwik's shame, so strong, that it was at times made to feel like my own. 

I call these kinds of books introverted book, those written in first person narration, so full of emotions and rich descriptions of things. Which means that you almost miss Janusz thoughts on it all. You want to get to know him more because while you love Ludwik and feel for him, Janusz is the more interesting one. He is layered and complicated and full of contradictions that don't make sense. I never doubted he loved Ludwik, possibly more than life itself, but I would have loved to read his reasonings, why he did what he did and what he thought about it all. What he thought about Ludwik's choice in the end. 

The only small criticism I have of this is that the prose doesn't always flow naturally. Some of the metaphors are maybe a little clumsy, it took me out of the story at times. Some work really well though, and the images those conjure are so vivid and alive.

This novel is the debut novel of Tomasz Jedrowski, it's gripping and emotional. Happiness and heartbreak hangs in the balance between each page, often hard to know in which direction the scale will suddenly tip. The ending, as sad and heartbreaking as it is, it made me feel hopeful too, and that was a beautiful parting gift.