A well known fact about me is that I hate birthdays, particularly and foremost my own one. I don't know why but it has always been the case. Maybe because as a kid I never felt like I had that picture perfect one that you unconsciously dream of having, and then it got to a point where I just hated getting older. And I'm not blaming anyone for past birthday failures, but it has left the traces of uselessness in me about birthdays. They are kind of pointless. And now I sound bitter, which I don't think I am. It just is what it is.
24 feels like a big number, but so did 23. I don't mind the idea of getting older really, because I do believe that life gets better with age because you keep learning and evolving. I think at the moment I am the best self I can be with the tools and experience I have, and it can only get better from now on. What I do mind are the expectations and pressure that comes with age. I finish uni soon and it is scary now because people keep asking what I will do after, which I have no clue about. Soon marriage and kids will be on the table and job prospects and money, those things of ageing up I do not like. I find it hard with the ticking internal clock to live in the now, which I know is key when you used to have severe anxiety.
But let's not rush ahead and stress, that is not what this birthday is about. Instead let's take a look at some of the things I have done by the (young) age of 24 to feel better about everything (and also avoid writing that essay due on Friday)
-Travelled to New Zealand for 5 months, partly alone and partly with a friend.
-Visited family in Australia and Hong Kong
-Overcame bad social anxiety
-Got accepted into university in England
-I am in a very good and happy relationship going on over 2 years
-Grew into myself a little more and became much more comfortable in my skin
-Started writing again
Okay then, let's see what 24 has in store!
24 feels like a big number, but so did 23. I don't mind the idea of getting older really, because I do believe that life gets better with age because you keep learning and evolving. I think at the moment I am the best self I can be with the tools and experience I have, and it can only get better from now on. What I do mind are the expectations and pressure that comes with age. I finish uni soon and it is scary now because people keep asking what I will do after, which I have no clue about. Soon marriage and kids will be on the table and job prospects and money, those things of ageing up I do not like. I find it hard with the ticking internal clock to live in the now, which I know is key when you used to have severe anxiety.
But let's not rush ahead and stress, that is not what this birthday is about. Instead let's take a look at some of the things I have done by the (young) age of 24 to feel better about everything (and also avoid writing that essay due on Friday)
-Travelled to New Zealand for 5 months, partly alone and partly with a friend.
-Visited family in Australia and Hong Kong
-Overcame bad social anxiety
-Got accepted into university in England
-I am in a very good and happy relationship going on over 2 years
-Grew into myself a little more and became much more comfortable in my skin
-Started writing again
Okay then, let's see what 24 has in store!
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