I try not to focus too much on goals because I know from experience that it can mess me up and just put unnecessary pressure on me. I love creating lists and I love ticking things off, achievement and all that. But goals are a different ballpark all together. Which is why I have decided to dedicate a blogpost to it.
I think goals are scary, simply because synonyms to the words are hope, aspirations or even dreams which I guess, scares me. Maybe because it's scary having dreams and being a doubter of even being able to live up to them puts a damper on it all together. Probably...
But we all have them, dreams and hopes about the future and what we will do with ours lives. Maybe that's actually the meaning of life, to figure shit out that works for you and then sticking to those, or not sticking to those if they don't work for you.
I used to have a lot of anxiety about the future and for a while university has kind of been my safety net because I haven't actually had to think about what I wanted to do, and no one has really asked me about it for a while. Now I'm like a newly hatched chicken and I have to make decisions and I have to figure things out...ugh, adulting is really hard guys.
Anyway.
I realised when I wrote some of this down that so many of them are about traveling so I just made the decision to split them into categories because it looks nicer and neater and all that. Also note that I have not set a time limit to any of my goals, because why do that? Who says I can't be a traveling mom if I wanted to do that when I'm 38 huh?
Okay.
Travel goals:
-Live in Italy for a while and learn some Italian.
-Travel to South America but particularly to Peru and hike Machu Picchu which has been a lifelong dream of mine for a long time.
-Go to Lebanon and visit my grandad and extended family, I have never been and I really need to go at some point.
-I would love to see more of Asia as well, like Vietnam and Indonesia and The Philippines.
Creative goals:
-Grow more creatively, be it in editing or video making and content creation, but particularly and foremost within writing.
-Finishing some scripts, but particularly that one that is sitting on my computer and hasn't been touched in months.
-Be involved in some creative projects with friends, I just need to figure out what.
-Have a podcast, I'm a smart cookie, I have lots of wisdom to impart with hehe.
Personal goals:
-Go back to therapy at some point. Human beings are flawed, which means we could probably all do with therapy. For every battle, every win, ever experience we have, it can literally be watching a film you have never seen and you realise something because of it, we change. Which means we get a new playground each time that we have to start navigating, and we need tools for those. Hence therapy. If I went now I'm sure I would discover a whole lot of new problems I wasn't aware that I had.
-I've also written down be happy. Which might sound stupid, but also hard. Like how is a person just content with what they have? Beats me, but I should definitely start looking for it, or drink the juice that the overly happy neighbour does so I can jump on the same train and be my best self.
-Have an actual job that I like. This is very important to me, I only don't really know what that would be...I need to do some soul searching for sure.
-I would love to study again. Not a BA because that's done and dusted, but some courses like philosophy or queer studies. But who knows an MA down the line is not out of the picture.
-Move out for real. Yes.... I'd do that today if I could.
-I would love to publish something like semi professional, that would be cool. An article or a book maybe.
-I really need to read some more books. I definitely lack in that department. A goal there really is to read more biographies or fact based books so I learn some shit while I do it too.
After 3 years of uni I have learnt that I am a creature of habit as well as someone who actually dig structure. I can get really anxious when my days are freed up and I have nothing planned. Instead I like it when I know what's going to happen and I am in charge of it. Yes, not always great qualities but whatevs, you can't have everything in life. I need to take that with me going forward into my 20s, to structure and plan, not in an obsessive way, but in a coherent way so I can feel good about stuff.
Okay, this turned really long, but I'm essentially a mess, which I'm hoping more people my age are. Maybe we should talk about it more and normalise not knowing what you want to do because life is long.
Until next time blog. I will be less existential then.
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